Step 11: When to Pull Out Your Sass

Hey guys! As many of you know (whether you know me in real life or just from these posts) you know I'm a sassy gal. Some would even go as far as to call me a Diva with an "attitude problem", but come on. A diva? No. There is a difference between being a diva and being sassy. 

Don't believe me? Here. I'll show you. Let's go through different reactions that a diva and a sassy person would have in the same situation. 

Dress rehearsal:

Speaker 1: "No, you have to do my hair now and at this time, and you have to be the only one doing it. And if anyone has an issue with it, then they can get over themselves." 

Speaker 2: "Stage makeup makes me look like an Oompa Loompa, and we're not doing Willy Wonka. Just saying." 

Alright. Name the diva! 

The obvious answer is number one, but I guess if that's not enough evidence for you, then I can pull out another common example. 

Waiting for Food at a Resturant:

Speaker 1: "They're going to put pizzas out on the buffet right? I pay forty bucks for this, I need pizza! And make sure I get some too, because last time the other customers ate all the pizza before I had time to get up there. God. It's been three minutes, where are the pizzas?" 

Speaker 2: "Jeez, you guys sure do charge an arm and a leg for this. How long till more pizza comes out? Oh? Fifteen minutes? That's fine." 

Whose the diva now? Ding ding! Yup, number one again. See, now that I have cleared that up, you can see that I am just sassy, not a diva. But, with being sassy comes the responsibility of using it at the correct time. 

Now, I understand that sometimes you cannot turn off the sass, but sometimes you need too. 

When Not to Sass: 

*When at an interview: oh no. You make sure you are a perfect angel at an interview. If you get the job, then they can wait to deal with your sass. 

*When dealing with parents: Unless you want to get slapped, sass is not good to use with parents. 

*When talking to mega pregnant and hormonal ladies: Trust me, that is a war you cannot win. 

When TO sass: 

*When someone is openly giving you crap about your favorite band/musical/person: Chances are they are just incredibly out of the loop and need some good classic sass to be brought back into the loop. 

*When you are being corrected during a mic-check by someone other than a cast member or your director: Chances are they don't know what they are talking about and are just being an egotistical jerk in a pink sweatshirt that should be slapped severely with a flaming spork. And. Nobody should correct an actor when they themselves are not in the play, are not the director and do not know the actor personally. So, Mr. Pink Sweatshirt, I have two words in my head specifically for you. Wanna take a gander on what they were? 

Alright, so give me some more specifics about when to sass and when to keep it hidden. Let's chit-chat! 

-MiMi out. 

Step 10: If You Can't Aim, Don't Play the Game

I think we need to have a party, one with cookies and confetti and purple peacocks! Why? Because this is a  happy funny post! And it's funny because it's about my own misfortune! That's the best kind of humor! 

So, first rehearsal since spring break ended and we all knew that it was going to suck major Umbridge. Cho, Luna and I all worked our butts off with our lines over a pizza and some shopping (no, in all honesty, we did practice) and we had prepared ourselves for a testy director. What we did not prepare ourselves for was Draco. 

Cue the dramatic music. 

Okay. We do the first production and it goes okay, for the most part. We still mess up and one part is still crappy, but Draco has managed to calm his balls so it's all good. And then we start the next production. 

Keep in mind that this is the play that Draco and I lip-lock. 

I guess that I should have noticed that this would happen eventually, because he has issues throwing/catching a football (I mean, so do I, but I have issues in general) but ANYWAY. The heated moment comes up and instead of kissing me on the lips, he kisses me on the nose. 

Not on the cheek, or the corner of my mouth, the mother trucking nose. 

My question is how do you miss that badly?! 

Fellas. If you can't aim, please please don't play the game. 

And maybe if this had been in a different situation and he actually meant to kiss me on the nose, I would have liked it? 

Wait. 

Nope. 

I still think nose kisses are weird. In my personal opinion, if you are close enough to kiss her nose, just go the extra mile and kiss her! Guaranteed she would like it better anyway! 

And then, get this, during notes he practically can't keep his hands off of me and then he jumps over to Cho and does the same thing! 

Men, dudes, if you're reading this please listen to me: do not under any circumstance, play with the feelings of two girls who have a strong back bone. 

You will get crushed. 

Draco you've met your match. 

-MiMi out.